Watching her son grow up, Sam Metalli-Haward always knew he was different, but only received an official diagnosis in 2022, when he was six years old.
MJ was diagnosed as autistic with associated sensory processing disorder and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
We have since supported Sam, who’s a Crew Commander with Hertfordshire FRS, and her family on our Child and Family Week at Harcombe House, as well as offering advice on accessing a therapy dog for MJ. Here, she shares some of her experiences and how your donations have directly helped them…
“In the years running up to MJ’s diagnosis and to this day, it has put immense pressure on our family and encouraged us to embrace and learn about the amazing and special way our boy sees the world.
We were told about a support programme that The Fire Fighter’s Charity offers as part of their family offering. We contacted the charity for an application form for the Child and Family Week, and we were offered a break during half term in October 2022.
My husband Lee and I have been in the service for over 40 years collectively and yet we’ve never utilised any of the charities’ services, so we were in the dark on what to expect. Prior to our visit we were sent a full schedule of activities to keep the children entertained and a delicious menu to give us adults a rest from the usual domestic chores. Having a schedule and menu prior to the visit allowed us to prepare the children and give MJ a clear visual plan on what we would be doing. Autistic people often find it easier to process new experiences when they can visualise and process what’s coming.
On arrival we were greeted with lots of friendly faces, and the staff on site were helpful and keen to make our stay as pleasant as possible. Our bungalow was clean, fully equipped and recently refurbished, consisting of three double bedrooms, an open plan living/dining area and a bathroom. The children were very excited to be staying there for the week.
On our first morning we got to meet the other six families and it was refreshing to be with other fire service colleagues who had children navigating similar challenges in life. The activities and support from the staff meant you could easily dip in and out of sessions, adapting to the needs of the child if they found it hard to participate or suffered sensory overload.
The activities over the week included: drumming, swimming, nature walks, arts and crafts, baking, circus skills, Halloween activities, science adventures (where the children were delighted to make slime!) and their favourite activity was on MJ’s 7th birthday; two hours handling animals, creepy crawlies, spiders and snakes. We have never seen MJ stay still and engaged for so long!
During the week we made special memories, where MJ’s differences were embraced, rather than seen as a challenge. The week gave us the opportunity to have fun and enjoy having time as a family in a safe and controlled environment. We made friendships that continue to this day, and we regularly speak to support one another in the ongoing challenges we face.
As part of our final day we were exceptionally lucky to officially launch the new family space at Harcombe House – Furze Cottage – which offers all those on rest and recharge stays a number of activities and games for all ages, from young children to teenagers, as well as space for adults to connect with each other.
We are immensely grateful to all the staff at Harcombe House and the incredible services available to us through The Fire Fighter’s Charity. Our son is amazing, and this week allowed us to see just a glimpse into the special world he sees.”
Sam and her family also met the Naylors during the week, who were supported by us in accessing an assistance dog for their son Theo. You can read their story here. Sam later sought our advice on applying for their own, for MJ, and has since gone ahead.
“I am so excited to say that Matthew has been accepted [for an assistance dog] The Naylor family have become good friends to us (despite the 150-mile distance) and have been a huge support to me and our whole family,” says Sam.
“I am so grateful to The Fire Fighters Charity for all their hard work, so will support and raise awareness however I can.”
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