Since 2021, Joyce Glover and her husband Terry have faced some of the toughest years of their lives – with each of them dealing with their own health struggles, all of which impacted their marriage.
However, Joyce, who’s an Admin Assistant with Tyne and Wear FRS, says getting in touch with us was the best thing they could have done and provided them both with the time and space they needed to begin their own recoveries and support each other.
“It all began in 2021,” says Joyce, 58. “My husband was rushed to hospital because he’d become very unwell.
“After tests, it showed Terry had had a stroke at some point. It was unclear when it happened, and they think it may have even been from a while ago.
“While there’s no way of knowing when Terry had the stroke, it ignited this fear in him that it might happen again… it was just a downward spiral after that.
“Terry’s mental health rapidly declined and at one point, when me and my daughter had gone away, we got a phone call to say he’d tried to take his own life. It was really bad.”
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While Terry was coping with overwhelming anxiety, Joyce had tested positive for Covid-19 a few months in and became very unwell.
“The symptoms continued and then in the January I was rushed to hospital with what seemed to be really bad Covid symptoms,” she adds.
“I’ve got an autoimmune disease and I ended up on a ventilator in intensive care for around 10 days. My husband and family were told it was touch and go at the time, which didn’t help how he was doing then.
“I pulled through and I’m better, but rather than talk to me and tell me what he was going through, Terry tried to hide how he was struggling.
“For me, it’s left me with more of a push to get on with my life, but it had a really negative impact on Terry and he began spiralling out of control.
“He started drinking a lot and just not talking. He was just in a really awful place and it got to the point where we broke up.
“We are back together now, but it was a difficult time.”
Realising they both needed support with what they’d been through, individually and as a couple, Joyce got in touch with us to see how we may be able to offer support.
“I was offered a stay at Jubilee House in June 2022 and it was life-changing,” says Joyce. “I think, because me and Terry were struggling, I went with the thought that I needed to get on with my life.
“I love a cappuccino and I’m a fairly big girl, so doing the daily exercise sessions was new – but really good. I was swimming, climbing hills, going to the gym… then there’s a hill nearby up to a café and they told me if I got to the top, I could treat myself to a cappuccino! So of course I did.
“It just gave me the mindset that life is better if you just do things for yourself, rather than expecting others to do things for you.
“I came home and started walking, and I feel much more positive. Terry saw it happening and started asking if he could come with me. His mental health has got a lot better and we’re now doing five or six miles a day, walking all over the shop!
“Now, he doesn’t go out drinking at all and only has minimal at home, it’s much better.”
Terry, having seen the effect Joyce’s stay had on her, reached out himself and was offered a stay in the August that year, to focus on his own health and wellbeing.
“He went to Jubilee House in August 2022 and Harcombe House in November 2022,” adds Joyce. “He found Harcombe particularly helpful, because it took a major focus on his mental health.
“He was also very fortunate that the Charity helped him access remote counselling too. He’s since said it saved his life.
“I’ve actually also had some since, which has really helped me too.”
“Help them as much as you can, because they’ll help you any way they can.”
Joyce Glover
We spoke to Terry about his stay at Harcombe and he adds: “It was amazing, everything the Charity does really is amazing.
“I always thought the hardest thing to do would be sharing what I’d been through. But then when you’re there, and you’re hearing others open up and share their experiences, you think ‘if they can do it, I can.”
Joyce and Terry now both spread the word about our support wherever they can, having previously not known what an impact it could have on your overall wellbeing.
“The Fire Fighters Charity has helped both of us and it’s saved our marriage,” says Joyce.
“We’re actually going on our first holiday this year after four years, together, so it’s been really good.
“Terry can talk about how he’s feeling now, we’re a lot more open. He still struggles with little things, nothing will be cured overnight, but at least he tells me now when he’s struggling.
“I can’t champion the Charity enough, I go into a room and you’re the first people I talk about. Help them as much as you can, because they’ll help you any way they can. Your contribution really helps that.”
If you feel you’d benefit from our health and wellbeing support, we may be able to help you. Call our Support Line on 0800 389 8820, make an enquiry online or register for My Fire Fighters Charity now and visit the ‘Access Support’ tab.
You can also join our ‘Share Your Story’ Group in the app, by clicking on the ‘Groups’ tab, to chat to others who have received our support or enquire about sharing your own story.